INCOMING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD COMING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive flood of spam is about to slam down on your mail. We're talking horrendous amounts of scammy emails packed with vile porn. These scumbags are trying to trick you out of your hard-earned dollars, so be super cautious. Don't click on any links in these emails, and flag them immediately. Don't get caught!